READ: INSIDE THE HEARTBREAK AND HOPE OF PEOPLE EXPERIENCING REPRODUCTIVE CHALLENGES It’s the fastest-growing plant in nature, and you can literally see it if you stand still long enough. She taught me to take a break from routine and duties, to stand still and witness the bamboo growing. My mom taught me this on birding walks, canoeing, climbing the fire escape to the roof in my apartment and watching shooting stars. You have to take a break from the motion and busyness of life to really bear witness to the patterns of nature. It’s in stillness that we witness life’s small miracles, which are often found in nature’s gifts – the sight of bamboo growing, a flower blossoming, the sound of birds at dawn. You say that your mother taught you the practice of standing still. As mom loses her knowledge of herself, one of my roles is to help her know the wonderful life she led, to remember for her, to write down her stories and thus leave her legacy. Conversations become one-sided, as the patient loses memory. Now, it’s time for me to advocate for her. My mom advocated fiercely for me my whole life. How has Alzheimer’s affected your relationship?Īlzheimer’s changes every relationship into a caregiver relationship. She was, and is still, elegant, kind and in love with nature. She collected Japanese art and beautiful heirlooms, and taught an English class to Japanese students. She took us to Japanese festivals clad in kimonos. She joined a class and learned the art of ikebana, Japanese flower arranging, whose principles are shin, soe and hikae – heaven, earth and man. When we lived in Yokohama, she really began to pursue herself.
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I saw her blossom and then burst into the woman who inspired me my whole life. It was in Japan, however, that I first became aware of my mom as a unique human being, rather than just seeing her as mom. In each place, I have so many wonderful memories of my mother that are specific to the location and culture. That’s like asking, “what kind of chocolate do you like the best?” All chocolate! We moved to Japan, Greece, Texas, Washington, D.C., Germany and California. Where’s your fondest memory of your mother? 3, it hosted award-winning actress Marcia Gay Harden at the Ritz-Carlton in Toronto, to discuss her recently published book, The Seasons of My Mother, which is about her mother’s struggle with Alzheimer’s. Women’s Brain Health Initiative funds education and research, to combat brain disorders in women.
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Seventy per cent of new Alzheimer’s patients are female, yet research still focuses on men. Women suffer from depression, stroke and dementia twice as much as men. Marcia Gay Harden The Seasons of My Mother: A Memoir of Love, Family, and Flowers by Marcia Gay Harden (Atria Books)